I was 13 when my adolescent mind was first introduced to the internet for social purposes. I didn’t know what a text message was, and I was terribly confused after receiving my first away message while trying to contact my friend through Aim. Yes, this was the era of instant messenger. Perhaps addictive games were the first step towards infinite distraction on la computadora, but the myspace quizzes which would define whether we were a prep or a nerd or whether our mindset matched up as an introvert or an extrovert, those distractions came next. Amongst these tests for entertainment was a particular quiz that now stands out to me as a reminder of my early youth. My answers to each question were birthed from an age of raw innocence where I’d never had my heart broken, and I’d never felt a piercing knife to the mind of what it’s truly like to feel alone.
The infamous quiz I speak of was titled “What type of guy are you into?” and the tip of the iceberg question was stated as such, “What’s the most important character trait that you look for in a guy?” Stupidly, my 13-year old self chose D: Mysterious. News flash young Sara, everyone has some type of mystery in their lives. It doesn’t take a James Bond to impress in that category. I suppose it requires the minimal wisdom of a person who’s lived beyond the high school years to know that choice A: Funny, was the only way to go. Somewhere in time when I was away from home at school, I learned that the ability to make someone laugh is one of the greatest powers a person can possess. Additionally, I’m voting it as one of the top three necessary elements that should be present in a romantic relationship.
Here are five reasons why the guy who makes you laugh is simply the best and why you should choose him to be your partner in crime.
Do It For The Friendship: I consider myself to be incredibly lucky as a child who’s grown up watching her parents be each others best friend. When you put your trust into your significant other as a lover, you’re expecting them to make time for you in the romantic sense and all the little things that romance entails. When you put your trust in that person as a friend, you’re essentially placing your happiness in their hands. When I see laughter, I’m witnessing the naked experience of happiness. Nothing like what you’d view on an Instagram account, those images are just part of an imitation game. Happiness in a romantic situation has a lot to do with looking out for one another, the same way you’d look out for your oldest friend in time. Laughter encourages closeness and helps to strengthen the bonds in friendship. If you’re smart, you’ll agree that the greatest romance stories involve two lovers who are the best of friends. I’m not much of a mathematician, but this is one equation I can get behind.
Shared laughter= friendship= trust= healthy partnership= happy couple.
Do It For The Values: Some people look for intelligence, others search for the dramatics. Personally, I look for what values a person considers to be most important. All of the special individuals who I’ve hand picked to be best friends are people who love to smile; they enjoy nothing more than the shared aching-belly laughs. Everyone becomes so infatuated, so caught up in the love hunt that they tirelessly search for what they think they want rather than taking a moment to understand what they need. Better think twice about putting your time into that mystery man. Sure he’s sexy and perplexing, but will he stick around? If he values the idea of being Mr. Elusive above the opportunity to learn more about his significant other, what does that say about his quality of life and how will yours improve from it? The person who values laughter over maintaining an elusive title is on the right track and we know that they have an appreciation for the little things. Bond continues to escape death by a hair in every one of his movies. Too much mystery can be hazardous to your health. Better to stick with the funnies.
Do It For The Science: Have you ever heard someone say that smiling is healthy for you? They weren’t kidding. According to mayoclinic.org, there are both short-term benefits as well as positive long-term effects that can be gained from laughter. Some of the listed short-term benefits are the activation and relief of your stress response, the healthy stimulation of organs, and the soothing of mental, emotional, and physical stress. Additionally, laughter also has the ability to improve your mood, relieve pain, increase personal satisfaction, and improve your immune system in the long-run. I bet there’s at least one benefit in there that you didn’t know about. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456
Do It For The Present: Consider this. If time is the most precious gift we can ask for, than observing how a person chooses to spend their time is an excellent way of understanding their character. The person who can make you laugh on your worst day has dedicated some of their time towards learning about what makes you smile. Bad things are going to happen to all of us. It’s inevitable and it’s life. Laughter is without a doubt an energy that keeps us perpetuating forward and it gives us hope. If you’re looking for something beyond the short-lived fling, I highly suggest you stick by the side of the guy who lights a spark in your heart with a smile. When M(/) sings, “all we need is somebody to lean on,” she’s definitely talking about the funny guy.
Do It For The Future: I’ve seen enough relationships to know which will endure the test of time and which will most likely die under the crushing pressure of life. Even as an eight year old, I remember watching my friends parents fighting and realizing there was a missing element between those unhappy companions. Something recognizable that’s always been present in my parents relationship. When a couple consistently feeds energy into their arguments, the relationship dies. But if the couple finds a way to resolve the argument with laughter, the relationship thrives. I believe that if you can find one thing to laugh about everyday, you’re doing well. But we’re only human, and sometimes our days are too heavy to bear alone. So for all the moments in life when you can’t find the humor, you’ll have your funny man by your side to lend a smile. Time is fleeting, so I say ditch your James Bond and pick up Jerry Seinfeld.
Making someone smile is one of the most selfless acts I can think of. When you witness the change in a persons eyes from hopeless to hopeful. When you see that they’ve found the light in life again because of their favorite person, that’s when it should hit you that these are the only relationships worth our while, and these are the relationships that make life worth living for. Three days ago on the fourth week into my new relationship, I experienced one hour of misery in Brooklyn from an anxiety-ridden hole I’d dug myself into. There’s just a lot of career pressure these days for all of those confused 20-something-year-olds out there, you know? Perhaps there was a time when I believed I needed the guy who was more on the serious side. At least in the sense where I thought he’d relate to me in those inevitable moments of tribulation. Perhaps you’re a person like me, and you’re still convinced that this is the type of lover and/or friend you need as your partner. I’m here to tell you that if you’re anything like me, you’re wrong. The individual who learns to chuckle at life understands best that the right way to overcome darkness is by shining light into the areas of our hearts we consider to be most breakable. Within five minutes time of our bodies lying parallel to one another on his bed, I was smiling once again. It was truly an exquisite thing. The grace in his organic action as he worked to find my one vulnerable point where I couldn’t push him away, but only with the intention of healing my wound. Five minutes spent with my funny guy, and that’s all it took to turn my day around. All humans possess the ability to build each other up or break each other down. The individual who’s chosen to split our sides with the funnies has consciously decided to contribute to the world of happiness and that’s what’s so beautiful about the art of laughter.