I wonder how much depression one person can handle. This is a question I ask myself quite frequently. How much can one individual soul take when it feels like every day, every single day, they’re fighting for their lives.
Almost a year ago now, I stumbled upon a song that spoke both comfort and fear to me. It may have only whispered to those who have not felt the sadness of it’s melody.
But in comfort and fear I’ve found truth, and in truth I’ve found the will to live. Not to exist. To live. I’m more determined than ever to reach the next stop on this train. I of course know that no destination is permanent, but another day of stunted growth is something I just can’t take. I’ve been in need of change for quite some time now. What kind of change? You might ask. And I would answer simply, to feel that I’m growing as an individual on a career path. To feel that I’m closer to my purpose. To use my brain power, my drive, and my overflowing passion for the greater good. But it’s not like I’ve been sitting here patiently and waiting for something to arrive. I’ve been working, I’ve been applying, and I’ve been fighting. God knows I’ve been fighting for it. And at the end of the day I always think to myself..
There’s so much life to be lived and time is fleeting.
The woods have always been a home to me. The way the sun’s rays dip through the branches and shine light into areas that are unseen or forgotten. How even on a rainy day, everything that’s green appears to be glowing with neon life. And of course, how though the shadows cast by trees are somewhat symbolic to the darkness in our lives, they’ll never feel as haunting as the demons who choose the little cracks in our minds as a permanent resting space.
Lord Huron, the lyrics from your track Meet Me In The Woods flow through me. The melody brings beauty in a way that makes sense out of the pain; it’s poetry, and it reminds me of the air of mystery I’d feel when I’d run to the neighborhood trees I grew up in. They’ve always been there to house and protect me from the outside world.
How I love those trees, how I love to dream, and how I love the music that touches our souls and fills us with the love and wisdom to keep us going. Upon hearing these notes, these mantras, we at least know that the future is out there. It’s so close we can almost taste it.
I have seen what the darkness does. (Say goodbye to who I was). I a’int never been away so long. (Don’t look back them days are gone). Follow me to the endless night. (I can bring your fears to life). Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. (Meet me in the woods tonight).